I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.
I did very well when I was younger, and I am fine.
I was very involved in political satire, and I'd been writing parody for 'Mad' and 'National Lampoon', so I made up some strange story about Gerald Ford.
Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.
Live a life of grace. You'll be a better person for it, and so will your children.
I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.
I am just happy that I have children. I don't care what they want to do!
I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.
Anybody can reach anywhere from five to 15 million people weekly making a president look like an idiot, as I did back then, or Tina Fey did with Sarah Palin... You're always preaching to the choir one way or the other.
I guess I look so straight and normal, nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.
For me, what makes you laugh makes you laugh.
If you get 'hot', everyone's nice to you.
With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.
What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.
All my children inherited perfect pitch.
I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.
Damn, I had some great moves. I still have them; I'm just not using them at home a lot.
Yes, I've seen Louis CK. I wouldn't in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there.
It's about timing and rhythm. But who could be better than Chaplin or Keaton?
The raising of an eyebrow, how you do it; when you look, how you look. All those little things are physical.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
I have been asked to direct many times and usually said no.
There's no vacation from being a parent.
Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.
You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.
Thank God I have the right friends.
A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
Anything I have blown a lot of money on? Well, I have three daughters and a wife - that's four women, and I'm working on a sitcom, so you could say that I am just trying to stay alive!
It was pretty clear that I was a funny guy, just as a guy.
Chaplin was my idol. I remember watching those movies at this little theater in Woodstock, N.Y., when I was probably 6 and laughing so hard at the surprises, like Keaton suddenly being dragged by a streetcar.
I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.
The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.
I turned down 'Forrest Gump.'
When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.
There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.
I've always loved the 'Weekend Update' people.
It seemed that my brother and I were always fighting in the back seat, and there was never any real reason for it.
It's incredible. Twenty-three minutes on the air, and I've got to shoot for twelve, fifteen hours a day. What the hell's that?
When I saw 'Caddyshack', I realized I couldn't act.
It will eventually be discovered that the more you sleep, the healthier you are. Which means you'll really be at your healthiest when you pass away.
I prefer movies because the money is better and certainly because you really know where you stand when you are making movies, and I have made a lot of them: 50-something - I don't know.
If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.
I come from a much freer kind of performance thing, where I rely on my own improv and my own sense of humor.
You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.
Nobody prepares you for what happens when you get famous, and I didn't handle it well.
I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.
I'd never be tied down for five years interviewing TV personalities.
I think I need to be taken away, dropped in some territory with just a lot of loud guys.
The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.